Are People Really Social Animals?
Let's say that all animals in the world can be generally divided into two groups:
- Animals that are territorial and solitary. You see these animals in groups only during mating season or maternity.
- Social animals.
Of course, it's probably more complicated than that, but let's keep it simple for now.
Humans are generally considered social animals. We live in groups, cooperate, and use a very complex form of communication, among other things. As social animals, we need to socialize and bondâspending time with our family and friends.
But despite this, I am convinced that we are not as social as we think we are. Many people seem to misunderstand what "we are social animals" actually means.
(Of course, I am not a psychologist, sociologist, anthropologist, or historian, so take everything I say with a grain of salt.)
When we look back in historyâspecifically prehistoryâwe can see that people lived in tribes. These tribes were usually very small, probably never exceeding 100 people overall. In general, people lived in smaller groups. But wait, thatâs not all. People within these tribes were likely divided into even smaller groups based on their roles. For example, two people might guard the camp, two might hunt, and three might make weapons.
These tiny groups were not random; people came together based on their abilities. If someone was a weapon-maker or a hunter, it was likely because they excelled at that task. These shared skills and interests formed the basis of the very first ancient friendships.
Essentially, this is how people live today. They have a family and usually a small group of friends with whom they share hobbies and interests.
However, I would argue that today we experience too much socialization, to the point where it goes against our nature. People live in huge cities with thousands of others. Schools and workplaces cram hundreds of people together, forcing them to socialize.
Certain peopleâusually introvertsâare more sensitive to this. They might feel overwhelmed and drained when forced to spend time in crowded places like parties, weddings, open-space offices, or classrooms. I believe this sensitivity is natural, but we go against it by building a heavily extrovert-oriented world.
Imagine a child who is a loner and prefers to spend time alone reading books. His parents think this is unhealthy, so they force him to go outside and play soccer with other kids. "You need to socialize!" they insist. As a result, he spends time with people he doesnât like, doing something he doesnât care about. The parents might believe theyâre doing the right thing, but in my opinion, forcing socialization does more harm than good. It might even backfire. The child could develop low self-esteem, social anxiety, or trauma in the future.
Additionally, it seems that a desire for solitude is often frowned upon in our society. When someone is a loner, people say, "That's not healthy. We are social animals, and we should socialize!" They criticize staying home to play video games on a Friday night rather than going out for a beer.
I believe solitude is natural, despite what many people think. In prehistoric times, people had plenty of opportunities to be alone. A fruit gatherer might go into the forest alone to find food, taking only their weapon. They would spend time in solitude, relaxing, meditating, or reflecting.
Interestingly, many pieces of prehistoric art have been foundâengravings on weapons, bowls, and tools, as well as paintings on cave walls. This suggests that some people had solitary hobbies and spent time working on them alone.
You might also notice that larger groups of people always break into smaller subgroups. In classes, workplaces, and almost everywhere, when you have a lot of people, sooner or later, youâll see these three forming a group of friends, those four forming another, and maybe even these two sticking together, and so on. Itâs never one large group where everyone communicates and builds relationships equally and consistently. Itâs always just a few who stick together.
Simply put, I think we should stop abusing the "we are social animals" argument to force people into artificial socialization, create unnecessary peer pressure, and build an extrovert-oriented world. None of these are as "natural" as people believe.